Hopelessness to Happiness: What to Do When You Have No Hope

Photo by Ethan Sykes

Originally Posted On: https://www.janiej.net/hopelessness-to-happiness/

I get it.

I have been there. That place where you have lost all hope.

You think you have to give up on your dreams, your expectations, the life you once imagined. You are ready to throw in the towel and give up on life!

But don’t. Because there is hope.

You just need to figure out how to GET it or FIND it or DISCOVER it.

There ARE answers. There ARE ways to get your life back on track. And best of all – it is not nearly as HARD and DIFFICULT as you think!

I know because I was there once upon a time (six years ago).

Hi, I’m Janie J, an author and an encourager of women (and men too!). I’m happy now and I feel successful even as I strive for more.

But it wasn’t always this way.

I had been married for 35 years and made it through all the ups and downs and sacrifices. I helped my former spouse with his career. I raised the kids, mostly on my own because he was busy with important stuff, you know, like work.

Okay, I got it.

We all make sacrifices when we marry. We all give up a little bit on our own dreams. We think of the family first. We worry about money. We try our best to keep the house clean, often while working outside the home. We make sure the kids are fed and they get their homework done. We work non-stop like the Energizer bunny, never taking time for ourselves or our own well-being.

We literally are working ourselves to a slow death but we see retirement looming around the corner and we think, “We are almost at the finish line. We are going to make it. We have weathered all the storms a marriage can throw at us.”

And then suddenly – it all changes.

He walks out. He runs off with his secretary. He tells you he’s not fulfilled. He says he doesn’t love you anymore. Or maybe he dies. The details may vary, but your feelings of hopelessness are just the same.

At the time it happened to me (he packed up and left, never to return) I was a mess!

Broke. In debt. Confused. Feeling unloved, hurt, and stunned! Just starting a new job and business that was commission only.

I knew I had only two choices:

I vowed not to give up and instead get going. I was determined to figure this out. I wasn’t going to fail and have people (mostly my ex) say, “oh – she can’t make it on her own!” I felt like Scarlett O’Hara in Gone with the Wind, when she says, “As God is my witness, me and my folk will never go hungry again!”

That’s my favorite part of the movie and now I know why. That is the type of determination it takes to push ahead through the hard times, the difficult times, the seemingly impossible times.

The best advice I can give someone who is feeling hopeless and sad and all alone in their life is:

• You are not alone! Everyone experiences disappointments and serious loss in their life. It is all about HOW YOU HANDLE IT! It is your MINDSET that is making you feel hopeless. If you can turn your mindset around, you are in the beginning stages of turning your life around.
• You are stronger than you think! You can turn your life around and live a happy, joyous, and meaningful life AND it doesn’t take a lot of time or money. It only takes your best effort.
• You do not need a man / significant other to live a great life. Sure, it is nice; but it is not, I repeat, it is not a requirement.
• You need a little direction in life.
• You need someone to help lead you some times.

First, you MUST have two things in order to do this:

Unfortunately, I had no one to offer me encouragement or any useful suggestions about how to get my life back on track.

Fortunately, I had been reading self-development books for my job. But I was desperate, so I resorted to praying and meditating. I thought I didn’t have time to pray before. And meditating – what the heck is THAT anyway? 

I started getting enough sleep – something I hadn’t done in years. My mind got clearer, much clearer.  I gleaned what I could from reading books and articles. I dug deep, really deep, to try to figure it all out.

Then one day, after much reflection, prayer, meditation and reading, trying SO HARD to try to figure out how to ‘fix’ my life, it HIT ME! I was driving and I started to hear all the answers, the tips, the strategies. They came tumbling out so fast that I pulled over to the side of the road and wrote them down (not wanting to miss any) for 40 minutes!

I can only describe it as a divine download. I started to believe that I could move from hopelessness to happiness.

Fast forward a couple years after I had been using those easy methods, bit by bit, to TRANSFORM my life. The change was so dramatic that family members thought I was taking (legal) drugs. But I wasn’t. I had just figured out how to live my best life – the life I had once imagined.

I can help you find your direction. That’s why I published that “side of the road” download as my first book, “Live the Life You Have Imagined,” to help women find a direction. Then I created the Companion Journal to help plan and track positive actions. You can get a very special direct deal price (just $27 and free shipping) on both these books here.

I can be the person to encourage you on your journey, your journey of self-discovery and triumph, so you too can go from hopeless to a happy and joyous life. I realize that sometimes we are so down in the dumps that we need to reset our mindset before we can take any of those concrete steps. That’s why I created the Positivity Reboot, A Five-Day Mindset Reset to Help You Get Out of the Negative and Into Living the Life You Have Imagined. You can get this course instantly for just $27 here.

Janie J is an author and encourager of women through her books, social media presence and through her courses including the Positivity Reboot and the soon-to-be-releases C.H.E.A.T. Your Way to Better Habits. To find out more, including new courses, get on her email updates list here.